


O My Lord, My Beloved

by MaevesChild



Series: SWTOR: Focus Determines Reality [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heartbreak, Major spoilers for SWTOR Sith Warrior Storyline, Romance, SWTOR, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 01:15:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4160061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaevesChild/pseuds/MaevesChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unlimited power is apt to corrupt the minds of those who posses it; and this I know, my lords: that where law ends, tyranny begins.<br/>~William Pitt</p><p>Reluctant passion sometimes burns the hottest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mavalai Quinn knew who he was.  

Despite Moff Broysc's best intentions, he'd still managed to keep his rank and now, with Darth Baras behind him and his apprentice in front, he was finally a Captain.  There was more to come, he was sure, but only if he was careful.

It was a balancing act, keeping Baras properly informed and happy, while letting Lord Tylluan believe she was in control.  She was in charge for now, in all things mundane and in all her own choices on the field.  And for now, Baras was content with her choices, though Quinn could admit that he didn't look forward to the day when the Darth's opinion changed.

He knew who he was; a man of discipline and moral fiber, a man willing to put the greater good above all else.  He was a man who knew that justice was not always merciful, couldn't be. Shouldn't be.  Sometimes, deeds needed to be punished and his Lord was adept at doling out punishment, except when she didn't.  She often left enemies alive.  It frustrated him greatly.  He hated loose ends.

He did not know who she was.  He knew the rank and file; her old human bloodline of Dark Jedi with just enough Sith blood to be honorable, her strong will, her strange ancient name.  He knew she was powerfully bound to the force, a Sith through and through, yet she would save those she had every right to kill when the mood struck her.  

There were several more Jedi still alive in the galaxy than there would have been, had Quinn been in charge.

But he wasn't in charge.  It was foolish to imagine, even though she left so many of the day-to-day tasks at his discretion.  He enjoyed those tasks more than he would admit to, primarily because they helped him focus on things that should be focused on instead of on her.

He didn't know who she was, not really, but he knew he wanted her.  It drove him mad, even as it seemed to titillate her.  She teased him mercilessly, flirting with him from practically the moment they met until he just couldn't help himself anymore.  He'd been utterly foolish and he kissed her.  He kissed her like she was air in the void of space, like he wanted to wrap himself completely up in her until she was the entirety of his existence.  

She said passion made her strong.  It made him a liability.

So he pulled away, even when his heart and his body screamed in agony.  She could have ordered him to be with her.  He knew the sexual appetites of the Sith were legendary.  But instead, she let him go and told him she would wait until he was ready.  Then she smiled, kissed his cheek and let him be, though not without a wink from her glorious golden eyes and an infuriating saunter off the bridge.

He wanted to fling himself into the expanse of space to get away from her and he wanted to chase her back to her quarters, pin her against the wall and fuck her until neither of them could walk.

Malavai mentally slapped himself with increasing frequency.

It didn't get better as time went on.  She managed to be both merciful and just, funny and endearing.  She never pushed him further than he was willing to go but left the door open for him to metaphorically walk through if he wished.  She was discreet and it didn't appear she'd taken even a single lover since she'd met him.  Pierce seemed more than willing and she bantered with him suggestively, yet never crossed the line.  Always, her attentions came back to him, her Captain, as she called him.

Malavai couldn't deny how much that thrilled him, even as he tried to deny his feelings for her.  He desired her with his body. He wanted her with his mind. He cared about her with his heart and as little as that figurative organ had been exercised, he still knew it was true.

What if Baras wanted her dead? What would he do?

He tried to leave in a moment of panic, begged her to reassign him.  He was willing to face Baras's wrath at that moment if it meant getting away before he made a terrible mistake.  There were so many different mistakes he could make.

She refused.

"Passion will make you stronger," she said, as if she knew it to be undeniable truth.  "Our feelings for each other, they will make us unstoppable."  

Malavai Quinn knew who he was, but he was first and foremost only a man with only so much ability to resist temptation.

"My Lord," he said, hating the quiver in his own voice, wanting to cut out all these feelings yet wanting, needing to give in to them.  He faltered.   "I'm going to kiss you now."

She smiled, slow and effortless, like a cat stretching in the sun.

He took her in his arms and he kissed her the way he'd wanted to for so long.  He gave into his body and his heart and pinned her against the hyperdrive console, grinding his hips into her, eating up her tiny noises as she wrapped one long muscled leg around his hips.

"My quarters," she tried to say, but he cut her off again. 

_No, no quarters._  It had to be right here before his willpower got the better of him, before that cold reptilian part of his brain reared up and took her away from him.  He got his hand up under her robes and on bare skin.  His fingers slipped into her heated folds, his thumb thrumming, pulsing against her.

"Oh."  More an impassioned sigh, a moan than a word.  Her head fell back and her hips pushed forward.  "Or here.  Here is good."

He didn't speak; he didn't dare.  Instead he managed to get his leggings down enough to expose himself and without thinking, without that innate hesitation he knew was such a part of him, he gave into passion and thrust himself inside her. 

She cried out, the sharp crescents of her nails digging into his shoulders.  He thought she said his name.

He pounded into her wildly, unable to think even of her pleasure, only his own.  So long he'd thought of this and tried to push it away, so many times he'd tried to distract himself with punishing exercise, with work, with pain if necessary.  All these months of pent up desire washed over him, overwhelmed him.

He needn't worried about her pleasure; she took pleasure in every hedonistic whim, in every moment.  She angled her hips against him and soaked him, crying out again, surely loud enough that everyone on the Fury would hear them.

The mortification was so intense and he came, wallowing in shame and desire and heartbreaking infatuation.  He spent himself and buried his face in her neck, knowing he should flee, should run before Baras called on him, before his fucking honor put him into a position he couldn't win and couldn't survive.  Instead, he felt himself throb inside her, and felt her hold him, cradle him so softly against her as if she loved him.

She sighed into his hair and his heart broke into a million tiny pieces.


	2. Chapter 2

Darth Baras called and the husk of skin and bone that used to be Malavai Quinn answered.

He worked on the droids remotely, having Baras's minions construct them.  He quietly programmed their computerized brains with all the intimate knowledge he had of Lord Tylluan, from all his time walking in her shadow.  He turned off the soft parts of him, the ones that touched her when he couldn't resist, lingered tenderly on her skin and entirely too often ended up in her bed.

The call to action had come when they arrived on Hoth and he'd used the frigid climate as an excuse to stay behind.  She wanted to make him happy, so she took Jaesa and Pierce instead.  His heart felt like lead in his chest.

He used her feelings for him against her.  He told himself that it was her own fault for not being more vigilant.  He told himself it was justice.  He told himself it was the Sith way and the Sith were the heart of the Empire.

When he didn't look at her, when she wasn't here to brush past him, soft and hard all at once, smelling of musk and clean sweat and arousal, he could swallow all that softness like the bitterest pill until he was as cold as the surface of Hoth itself.  

Malavai Quinn didn't fall in love.  He didn't love her.  He belonged to Darth Baras; he owed him his career.  He was an Imperial Officer and Baras was the Voice of the Emperor.  His allegiance was clear.

He ignored the throbbing pain at the base of his skull.  He ignored the burning in his stomach, the ache in his lungs as if he couldn't get enough air.  He wrote line upon line of code to tell the war droids how to kill her.

Corellia gave him the opening he needed, the elaborate lie woven of threads that sounded like truth.  She listened to him and believed every word.

She trusted him.  

She'd trusted him with her body and her heart and her life more times than he could count.

He tried not to vomit.

She took him with her into the ship, and the lack of resistance unnerved her, he could see it, but she still wasn't afraid.  He knew she wouldn't even be afraid when he turned the droids on her.

He almost hoped she killed him in the crossfire.

He spun on her, Baras's voice booming in his head, the long years of endless toil with no reward as armor.  

"It pains me to say it," he said, his voice cold, brittle. "But this entire scenario is a ruse.  There is no Marshall Law, no special signal emitter."  He swallowed bile.  "Baras is my true master. He had me lure you here to have you killed."

Her face went pale as a lifeless moon.  "You bastard."

His veneer crumbled but he clung to it fervently.  "I didn't want to have to choose between you, but he's forced my hand.  Without Baras, I would be nothing."

"That's a lie." His heart heard truth but he pushed it away.  

He turned away from her, a part of him almost hoping she'd strike him down.  "I programed these war droids myself, after observing you in battle, after learning your strengths and your weaknesses.  I've estimated you have a 0% chance of survival."  He cleared his throat.  "It will be quick."

He heard the distinctive sound of her lightsabers activating.

"Your confidence in the odds is your biggest weakness."

Before he could speak, the hilt of her lightsaber came down on the back of his skull and he slumped to the floor, everything disappearing to black.

 

* * *

 

Malavai woke in the infirmary.  

His head felt like it was full of rocks and they rattled when he turned his head, trying to sit up.  He couldn't understand why he was still alive.

Once the war droids destroyed her, Pierce was certain to put a bullet through his head if she hadn't put a saber through him already.

"You're awake."

He blinked hard and sat up abruptly, head spinning.  His stomach lurched.

_It couldn't be._

He managed to focus his eyes and there she was, alive, whole and only slightly singed around the edges.

"You underestimated me, Captain."  Her voice was calm and emotionless. Even so, he wanted to die at hearing it.  He'd been so wrong.  If Baras was the Voice of the Emperor, surely she would be dead.

She was sitting right there, very much alive.  She was the Emperor's Wrath and Malavai Quinn was a fool.  He had no idea what to say, so he stayed silent.

"As did Baras.  But I know him.  He is a consummate liar.  I believed him until the very end.  So I left you alive, to see if you might want to try to earn my trust again." She made a show of inspecting her fingernails, as if she didn't care a whit for his reply.  But Malavai was a deft observer, even if he'd failed with the droids.  The corner of her right eye twitched.

"My Lord."  He barely recognized his own voice, soft and pleading.  

Finally he understood her mercy, how she was stronger for not being like Baras who simply destroyed everything in his path.  If Baras had been merciful, he would have seen how much more powerful he would have been with Tylluan as his ally, instead of his enemy. Malavai would never mistake her for soft and foolish again.  

"My Lord...." his words caught in his throat.  She was watching him carefully, her masked veneer of calm still in place.  "My beloved.  Forgive me." 

Her expression shifted.  Still guarded, but eyes soft.  She studied him for a moment, then pulled her shoulders back and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I guess you'll just have to make it up to me," she said, a smirk creeping on to her mouth.  "In private."

His heart started beating again.  "That can be arranged."

She almost laughed, but was too dignified to do it.  Instead, she nodded at him abruptly and got to her feet.

"Rest then, Captain Quinn,"  she said.  "It's a few hours to Corellia.  I need you on your feet by then, understood?"

"Of course, my Lord," he managed, sounding more certain of himself than he expected.

She walked to the door and stopped, turning around to give him a last look.  She shook her head at him.

"Idiot."

"Yes, My Lord," he muttered.  "But never again." 


End file.
